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We hardly hear the term "living in sin" anymore. It's become culturally acceptable for the young and old alike to live together without bothering with the formality of a marriage commitment. In fact, moving in together is now considered a good way to test run a relationship before tying the knot. Yet, because cohabitation requires much less of a commitment, couples who live together are far more likely to break up than married couples, and serial cohabitation is very common among young people.

Part of the problem with cohabitation is that men and women haven't changed over the centuries. Women are still more likely to commit to a relationship with or without the marriage label. Women tend to see cohabitation as a step toward marriage, while men tend to consider cohabitation a precursor to commitment. Along the same lines, men who marry their girlfriends after a long cohabitation tend to be less committed to the union than men who wait until after marriage to live with their brides.

And of course, a lack of commitment hurts the kids. According to findings from the National Fatherhood Initiative's (NFI) Father Facts: "Compared to children born within marriage, children born to cohabiting parents are three times as likely to experience father absence, and children born to unmarried, non-cohabiting parents are four times as likely to live in a father-absent home."

The US Census Bureau reported that 4.85 million cohabiting couples existed in the United States in 2000, up from 439,000 in 1960. That's a 1000 percent rise in just 40 years. More than half of couples live together for a little while before marrying, but a 2000 study published in the journal Population Studies in 2000 found that 40 percent of unmarried couples had split up within five years. The average live-in relationship lasts two years, leading either to marriage or a split.

In the meanwhile, the marriage rate is not 50 percent, as urban legends often state. An average of 65 percent of marriages last past 10 years for those who have no college degree, and for those who have graduated from college, a good 84 percent of marriages survive the first decade.  (Perhaps they experience fewer money problems?)  Since most divorces occur during those first 10 years, marriages that get past the 10 year mark have a good chance of going the duration.

The surprise is not that large numbers of human beings are treating their sexual relationships loosely, but that Christians are doing it too. Not only are plenty of Christians sleeping and living together outside of a marriage relationship, but many think it's perfectly okay to do so. Yet, while nobody wants to live a life burdened by legalism, the Bible is very clear about the importance of self control and of one man and one woman committing to each other for life.

"And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." - Matthew 19:4-6

"Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's." - 1 Corinthians 6:18-20

"For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication: That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour; Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God:" - 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5

"So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh." - Ephesians 5:28-31

While we are saved by grace and not by works (Eph 2:8-9), Jesus unapologetically called his servants to greater holiness, to a higher morality. It is good to not commit adultery, but even more important, Christ's servants are to avoid even lusting after women in their hearts (Matt 5:28).  Women are called to honor and reverence their husbands and men are called to lay down their lives for their wives, just as Christ lay down his life for the church (Eph 5:21-33). That's heavy stuff, and it would be pretty much impossible to accomplish if not for the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives as we walk day by day with Him. 

Hormones are powerful forces that help keep men and women together. God designed us in a brilliant way that leads to one of the most fantastic relationships ever – the bonding of two people.  Then, He made it even more fantastic by using that bonding to create the miracle of new life. However, a great deal of pain in this world has been caused by a failure to properly manage those hormones and the passionate desires they cause. We need great wisdom and love and self sacrifice to develop our marriage relationships to be what they were meant to be. And we'd all be better off if we learned what God says on the matter of love and marriage and followed His direction. We'd have fewer broken hearts, and more whole families and healthier lives.

The longest day of the year approaches and a fluttering of summer solstice celebrations are on the way. In the meanwhile, a report released by the Obama administration has frightened many who believe that man-made climate change is ready to upset life as we know it.

June 21st is the summer solstice, the longest day of the year in the northern hemisphere. In Rhode Island, the Westerly-Pawcatuck Downtown Business Association will hold its eighth annual Summer Solstice celebration on Thursday, the 18th. There will be music and face painting, food and carnival rides. It's "a huge welcome party for the summer," according to DBA member Eileen Kenny.

The summer solstice is a big time for nature worshipers. In the woods on the 21st, Wiccans celebrate Litha with a fruit and vegetable feast, then burn incense and wait for the fairies to come out.

SOLSTICE Sunglass Boutique will celebrate the solstice by donating 10 percent of the proceeds from its June 21st sunglass sales to Al Gore's organization The Climate Project. According to Rick Talmage, chief operating officer of SOLSTICE Sunglass Boutique, "customers can leave SOLSTICE feeling good not only about their new sunglasses, but with the knowledge that a portion of their purchase will help support environmental responsibility."

Environmental responsibility is all the rage these days, whether due to midsummer celebrations or scientific fervor or global government aspirations. The White House science advisor has just released a 200-page report detailing the results of several studies on the change of the earth's climate during the past 50 years. The studies are not new, but the report repeats the warnings that climate change is man-made and will result in heat waves, flooding, wildfires, insect infestations, and rising ocean temperatures if it's not dealt with. The report predicts that there will be more droughts in the Southwest and more intense hurricanes in the Southeast. The UN is predicting great "megadisasters" that would affect millions of people in major cities if something is not done soon to halt global warming.

John P. Holdren, the White House science advisor commented: "[The report] tells us why remedial action is needed sooner rather than later, as well as showing why that action must include both global emissions reductions to reduce the extent of climate change and local adaptation measures to reduce the damage from the changes that are no longer avoidable."

In other words, the hammer is going to come down on the producers of emissions. The worst culprits in China or India may not be affected for awhile, but Americans will surely feel the upcoming regulation pinch. The policies to lower emissions will put an additional burden on already struggling businesses, and it is therefore very important to know how good the science on climate change really is. 

It isn't just the economy that is at stake, though. A "global" problem is always going to warrant "global" solutions, and climate change is a great excuse to push for a larger, more powerful global government to get the problem under control.

Of course, a significant number of people believe that global warming is more hype than real harm. A collection of global warming skeptics - scientists who disagree with the alarmists on the danger of climate change – gathered in Washington DC last week to debunk the science behind climate change panic. They argued that the global warming we do see is caused by the natural cycle of the earth's weather patterns, and is not something that curbing carbon dioxide emissions is going to change. Others argued that carbon dioxide is not a pollutant, and is actually beneficial to plants and sea life.

"How do you control the weather?" asked Bob Carter, an Australian scholar from James Cook University. "For us to assume we can somehow control nature and regulate weather patterns, when we cannot even predict them correctly, is patently absurd."

According to a Gallup poll, only 34 percent of Americans worry "a great deal" about climate change, and 41 percent of Americans think the problem is being exaggerated. Unfortunately, getting at the precise truth on the matter is difficult when the issue is thoroughly smothered in politics.

Congress is currently debating a White House-backed climate change bill that would use a "cap and trade" program to reduce US greenhouse gas emissions 17 percent by 2020 and 83 percent by 2050. The bill could be considered by the entire House within a couple of weeks, and promises to put extra burdens on already struggling US businesses.

In the meanwhile, summer is just around the corner. We look forward to enjoying it… as soon as it stops raining.

Father's Day approaches, with its gaudy ties, new golf balls and little jars of orange fish bait. Yet while Father's Day doesn't make nearly the ripples that Mother’s Day does, it honors some extremely important people. A father's presence – or lack thereof – can make all the difference in the lives of his children. Fathers need to know how vital their role is, and we all need to celebrate those devoted fathers among us.

God bless our fathers. As divorces tear families apart, and as millions of America's children sleep in homes without dads, we grow to see the very significant place that fatherhood has in the lives of our children. Sons from fatherless homes are more than twice as likely to commit crimes and end up serving prison times than young men who grow up with both parents. Daughters whose fathers are missing are far more likely to have difficulty developing healthy relationships with men as they grow up, and are more likely to become pregnant as teenagers. Nearly 24 million children live away from their biological fathers, and a large number of these see their fathers only on weekends, holidays… or never.

According to findings from the National Fatherhood Initiative's (NFI) Father Facts: "Children who live absent their biological fathers are, on average, at least two to three times more likely to be poor, to use drugs, to experience educational, health, emotional and behavioral problems, to be victims of child abuse, and to engage in criminal behavior than their peers who live with their married, biological (or adoptive) parents."

In light of the father absence in our communities, we would like to take some time to praise the role of fathers in the lives of families, and to encourage all you dads out there. You are very important people!

There is more information today than ever before on the differences between men and women, and the biological reasons for the basic strengths that each have for creating complementary relationships and complementary parenting styles. It is highly difficult for any single parent to play both Mom and Dad - simply because we were designed to be partners and to fill each other's weaknesses with our strengths. It's easy to see how greatly children need their mothers, but fathers are also extremely important to children. Below are some of the areas in which a father is very difficult to replace.

Role Models:
This applies to both boys and girls. From their father, boys gain their understanding of how to be a man. By watching their fathers, sons learn about male responsibility and the proper ways to assert themselves. They learn how men should treat women. Fathers provide an authority and sense of discipline, particularly for teen boys, that woman have an extremely hard time duplicating. Boys need a man they can respect and after whom they can model their own lives.

For daughters, fathers provide the model of the man they should seek as adults. A father's love and care helps young girls develop a sense of their own self worth and expectations of how other men should treat them. Daughters gain an ability to trust from trustworthy fathers, and learn to find value in healthy femininity from the man who truly values them for who they are and not just how they look.

Parenting Styles:
Rather than being in conflict, fathers and mothers balance each other's parenting styles - helping each other raise well-rounded children.

Fathers tend to emphasize rough and tumble play more than mothers do. Fathers' play is likely to be both physically stimulating and mentally exciting. This form of play helps children learn about physical self-control and what is appropriate playful behavior, and what is dangerous. Through this type of play, Fathers help children learn to control their wild emotions and have fun in the midst of competition. Fathers tend to encourage competition, challenge, initiative, risk-taking, and independence.

In conversations, fathers tend to be more direct and specific - teaching children not to 'beat around the bush'. They stress fairness and justice while mothers tend to focus more on sympathy and care. Fathers focus more on independence while mothers tend to stress community and relationships. Fathers tend to be firmer when decisions are made. Fathers are generally more apt to consider the long-term development of their children, while mothers tend to consider immediate needs.

Together, mothers and fathers show children the values and strengths of both of the genders. The social revolution of the last fifty years has greatly degraded men. Fathers help girls to appreciate and value men, and show boys their value as men.

Children's Development:
Children with involved fathers have been found to have enhanced academic achievement, problem solving ability, and quantitative and verbal skills. According to several studies, Father involvement in their sons' lives has been shown to have a huge effect on boys' mathematical and verbal skills. Father presence is reflected in their daughters' improved mathematical skills and reading ability.

An astonishing finding is that the development of empathy and compassion in children's characters is correlated with their father's involvement in their early childhood. Young people who have been raised by warm and affectionate fathers are fare more likely to have happy marriages and healthy relationships as adults.

Most importantly, fathers provide a concept of the Heavenly Father for their children. Harsh, abusive, or unpredictable fathers make it more difficult for children to understand God's love or to trust Him. On the other hand, trustworthy, loving, steady fathers model for their children the character of God.

Father's Day Ideas:
There are plenty of things that fathers can do on Father's Day to make the day a fun time for both Dad and the kids. If you're looking for some ideas, here are a few activities you and your children can enjoy together.

- Make breakfast together. Purposefully let the kids join in mixing up pancakes or putting together sausage biscuits with egg. Pick a simple meal that everybody likes and do it together.

-Go fishing or hiking or bike riding together outsides. Focus on just enjoying each other's company and having a good time.

-Go work on that club house or dog house or fort you've been meaning to get to. Use it as an opportunity to teach the kids basic carpentry and give them plenty of chances to help and make mistakes and learn.

-Play a boardgame or card game. Sit down and play the kids' favorite game with them.

-Pick out a book together and snuggle up to read it.

-Take time to learn about a hobby your children have, one that maybe you hadn't paid much attention to before. Let the kids tell you all about this thing they love to do and why they love it.

-Take a trip to some of your own childhood haunts - your favorite park or climbing tree or hangout from when you were a kid. Tell some funny stories.

-Listen to music together. Let the kids share their favorite artists and songs and tell you what they like about them. Share your some of your favorite songs and groups.

-Go out for a soda and just talk.

-Call your own father with the kids to say Happy Father's Day to Grandpa. Put him on speaker phone for everybody to talk to.

-Go out and throw the ball around. Then go inside and watch the game together. Or vice versa.

-Pray together. Find out if there are any things your children are struggling with, and pray together about them.

Whatever you do, make sure you focus on just having a warm, fun time with your children and getting to know them better. Give them opportunities to know you better. Use this Father's Day as a chance to build your connections with them and strengthen one of the most important relationships in their lives and yours.

God's richest blessings on all you fathers out there! You are very much appreciated. May your Heavenly Father continually teach you how to truly represent Him to your children, to your wives, and to the world.

Happy Father's Day!