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Forgiveness is a tough subject. We all have very personal stories to tell of times we've been injured by our fellow human beings, and sometimes the cuts are so deep, we can't imagine how we could ever stop feeling the pain of them. Yet, our relationship with God depends not only on His abundant, gracious forgiveness of us, but also on our willingness to forgive others. As hard as it can sometimes be, we are freed on a variety of levels when we practice forgiveness.

We know in our heads that we need to keep "short lists." Jesus makes it clear on more than one occasion that our own forgiveness is dependent on our willingness to forgive others. In Mark 11, Jesus directs his followers, "And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses," (Mark 11:25,26).

Again, in Matthew 18, Jesus tells about a man whose 10,000 talent debt the king forgave. Yet, when that man refused to forgive the 100 pence debt of another man, the king had the ungrateful servant delivered to the tormenters. We do not want to be that wicked servant. It is therefore imperative that we learn to do what Jesus says and forgive others, even when it means doing so over and over again (Matthew 18:21-22).

Yet, even though we know we should forgive, sometimes it just seems beyond us. The hurt is so terrible, it feels impossible to release the person who caused it. That difficulty seems even greater when the person who did the hurting is somebody who is supposed to love us. Strangers are often easier to absolve than our friends and family, because we don't expect anything from strangers.

Yet, as hard as it may seem, forgiveness is possible, and there are things to remember that can help:

Simple Willingness:
Forgiveness doesn't mean forcing our emotions into a box and locking them away with a key. It doesn't mean trying to make ourselves feel anything. Forgiveness is an act of the will. It's a decision, and that decision begins with a simple willingness. That is the hard part. Once we've wrestled with our will and finally decided, "Yes, I am willing to forgive this person," the feelings will often take care of themselves after a bit. The hurt and sadness may not disappear right away, but a willingness to forgive is the biggest first step to take.

When she was 10-years-old, Lilly watched her mother's boyfriend beat her 7-year-old sister. Not only had the little sister done nothing wrong, but she was the "sick" and weak child of the family, and it wasn't the first time the boyfriend had chosen to abuse the helpless child. The rage Lilly said she felt at 10-years-old over the cruel treatment of her sister could not be described. Yet, soon after that incident, while she ground over it in her heart, she felt the Holy Spirit say, "You need to forgive him."  Even at 10-years-old, she knew He was right. So, she said, "Okay."

That simple act of obedient willingness instantly changed what was happening in her heart. The rage lifted. "The sadness remained," she said, "and I wouldn't talk about it for years, but I was freed from being angry at that man. He was God's business. So, when I found out years later that he'd given his life to Christ, I was able to be glad. And when he died, I knew he was in heaven, and I was able to rejoice in that. Forgiving him saved me from years of rage and grief and hatred."

Forgiveness doesn't mean we trust an untrustworthy person or foolishly expose ourselves to further hurt. It does mean that, day by day, we willingly keep our hearts clean before God.

Overcomers In Christ
It is also very important that we avoid the easy trap of seeing ourselves as victims. Victims focus on the actions of the victimizer and place themselves in a position of judgment and self righteousness. While from the world's perspective, judgment and self-righteousness are justified, they can be very spiritually destructive.

We need to avoid seeing ourselves as victims and instead remember that we are more than conquerors through Christ Jesus. Jesus told us, "… In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world," (John 16:33b). That absolutely applies to times when we could be considered victims. Paul says, "As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter. Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us," (Rom 8:36-37).

As overcomers, we do not focus on what things have been done against us. We focus instead on our relationship with God and what He wants to do in our lives and in the lives of those who have caused us pain. It's our relationship with Jesus that matters more than anything else, and He can bring victory to even the worst of situations. If our neighbor's "room" is not cleaned up, we still need to make sure our own "room" is clean day after day, year after year.  

We don't have to suffer at it in silence, either.  When appropriate, we may be required to honestly and gently say, "Hey neighbor, your room is a mess and you're muck is spilling into my room," after the model set forth in Matthew 18:15ff.  But, we need to make sure we keep our own hearts humble and full of God's love.  If we do, God can work through our obedience to do amazing, excellent things to heal relationships and lives.

We all have faults. We have all failed God and our friends and families at some time or another. We have all behaved selfishly and lied and done those things we knew were wrong. In moments of anger, we've said horrible things. We are all in desperate need of forgiveness. As we travel through this rough world, we need to keep short lists, keep our hearts clean, and daily allow God to help us see others as He sees them.

To be continued next week in a true story of God's faithfulness….

The controversial health care reform bill passed in the House by the squeaky close vote of 220 to 215 late on Saturday night. The days before the vote were marked by protests and demonstrations on the Capitol steps, and significant numbers of Americans have expressed open animosity toward more government control of the health care system. President Obama will not be able to sign this legislative baby tomorrow though. Serious negotiations lie ahead as the Senate works to develop its own version of health care reform, and the two bills don't promise to look very much alike.

With only one Republican voting in its favor, those in favor of the House bill definitely fell along party lines. Yet, not all Democrats have been following their party leaders. A group of 64 socially conservative Democrats voted with Republicans to include an amendment that would exclude the public funding of abortions, and another 39 Democrats just plain voted against the bill itself. As federal deficits soar high, fiscally concerned Republicans and Democrats alike are unwilling to pour vast amounts of dollars into what Eric Cantor of Virginia called, " this gargantuan, trillion-dollar overhaul."

What would the bill do? The 1,990-page House health care bill is twice the size of the one the country railed against in August. It would mandate people to carry health insurance, and would make Medicaid available to a larger group of people, as well as create a network of state-run healthcare exchanges. There's a lot more to it, of course, hence the 1990 pages. According to Rep. Jo Bonner (R-AL), the passage of the bill into law would result in the following:

"• $730 billion in new taxes on individuals and small businesses, including penalties for those who cannot afford coverage that meets the government's standards.

• $1.2 trillion in new federal spending over ten years with hundreds of billions inevitably added to the federal budget deficit.

• The creation of 111 new federal offices and programs to oversee and run the new health care bureaucracy.

• Over $500 billion in Medicare cuts over ten years resulting in the loss of Medicare Advantage benefits for some seniors.

Nearly 5.5 million Americans could lose their jobs as a result of the tax mandates in the Speaker's health care bill."

States like California, already swamped in debt and struggling with their current Medicaid load, are already wondering how in the world they could survive the healthcare overhaul.

"Our number one concern is just the fiscal reality that we can't afford our current program," said Toby Douglas, chief deputy director of health care programs for California, at a conference of state Medicaid directors on Tuesday. "We can't afford expansion."

There is another option. The Republican alternative plan is massively shorter and avoids placing a new unbearable fiscal burden on the taxpayers. Instead of a government take-over of healthcare, the bill would work to ensure that healthcare is more affordable and make it harder to take advantage of the system. It would focus on stopping the abuse of medical malpractice lawsuits and would allow Americans to cross state lines to buy insurance. It would help small businesses to pool together to get better insurance for their employees at better prices. Plus, it would prohibit federal funds from being used to pay for abortions.

While the bill has passed in the House, it still faces the Senate. The Senate version of the bill is already destined to look a great deal different than the House bill, and not necessarily in good ways. On the one hand, the Senate is hostile toward the pro-life amendment that nixes any potential for taxpayer funding of abortions. On the other hand, conservative senators are determined to simply put the bill to death.

One thousand giant dominoes were toppled in Berlin Monday along the path where the Berlin Wall once stood. German Chancellor Angela Merkel, raised in communist East Germany, stood next to former Soviet President Mikhail Gorbachev as Europe celebrated the fall of the Wall 20 years ago. "Looking back, we can see many causes that led to the peaceful revolution, but it still remains a miracle," German President Horst Koehler said.

It seems just a short time since we prayed earnestly for our persecuted Christian brothers and sisters behind the Iron Curtain. It seems just a few moments since the doctrine of Mutual Assured Destruction ironically kept the world safe from nuclear war, and Johnny Carson did impressions of Ronald Reagan talking to Gorbachev on the Tonight Show. Yet, 20 years have passed since freedom came to East Germany on November 9, 1989. We now have freshmen in college who have no memory of a time when the harsh fist of communism gripped Eastern Europe. They don't remember the reality of Soviet missiles aimed at American cities, and youngsters in the former Soviet Bloc take freedom of travel for granted. Yet, while Eastern Europe rejoiced in its freedom from communist rule, the road to a free market society has been a rocky, difficult trudge for many of its people.

If you've forgotten, freedom for East Germany actually started in Hungary earlier that autumn. In September of 1989, vacationing East Germans asked to emigrate through Hungary's border, and (on 9/11) Hungary opened their door into Austria. For the first time since the Berlin Wall was built in 1961, East Germans were able to openly escape into the West.

This seemingly small, but massively significant event led almost directly to the fall of the Wall two months later (on 11/9).  Erich Honecker, General Secretary of the Socialist Unity Party of Germany, decided to relax travel restrictions and allow East Germans to go in and out of the country in an attempt to keep them from emigrating via Hungary. East Germans poured out of their communist "utopia" by the hundreds of thousands.

Had Gorbachev offered Soviet troops to get things under control, the history of the past two decades might have been different. But Gorbachev offered no such help to rescue communist East Germany. Honecker was forced to resign, and the new leadership opened up the Berlin wall on November 9, 1989. East Berliners took little time to make their exodus to the West, and over the next days and weeks, chunks of the wall were taken as souvenirs. Within a few months, Germany reunification was underway.

Yet, while the Wall fell, things have not gone easily for Germany. Communism took its toll on East Germany, and now 20 years later, the western part of the country is still propping up its re-attached other half. While the people from the East were freed from tyranny and political oppression, their transition to a free market economic system has been slow. From the point of view of West Germans, the fall of the Wall was costly and they were the ones forced to shoulder most of the economic burden. Gunther Bially in Hamburg wrote us, saying:

"The government took a little percentage out of our pay checks called the Soli (short for Solidaritätszuschlag). They told us it would be only for two years or so. Twenty years later we still pay the Soli. Every year West Germany pumps some 100 billion euros into East Germany to keep it alive and going. Without our money many parts of East Germany would collapse. There does not seem to be an end to this.

"We don't want to change this historical event. But we have been paying a lot of money for it and will be paying for it without really seeing the financial benefits. Twenty years ago they told us that East Germany would develop into a new oasis with new investments and lots of jobs...I guess it has not so far."

The other nations in the former Soviet bloc have had the same problems. Free elections and the restoration of civil rights and human dignity go a long way, but 20 years after the fall of the old oppressive communist regimes, many older people just wish prices weren't so high. The Czech Republic has gone a long way in transitioning back to a free market system; after all, in 1989 there were still people alive who remembered how life worked before communism. Countries like Bulgaria, though, have had a much harder time.

Petar Stoyanov, Bulgarian president from 1997 until 2002, said low living standards "remain the Achilles' heel of the country's transition" to democracy. "I never imagined that, 20 years later, there would be so many people, mainly the elderly, who can't afford to buy simple things," he said in an interview with The Washington Times. "None of us understood the destruction we inherited after 45 years of communism," he said. "The idea that you could wait for someone else to do the work had taken away individual creativity and initiative."

Yet, there is hope in the classrooms, as the next generation grows into adulthood. The kids graduating from Bulgarian schools these days were never raised under communism, and they never developed the old, "Let somebody else do all the hard work," attitude. They realize that they can get places by pushing themselves and forging their way in the world. Twenty years after the fall of communism, the old capitalist spirit is rising up in the hearts of the youth, and they offer a great deal of hope for the future of Eastern Europe.