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Bewitched


 

Cast of Characters
Saul: King of Israel
Joash: One of Saul's generals
Servant: A servant
Witch: Matilda – a "spirit guide"

Scene 1

Saul is pacing anxiously in a space that is obviously his field office. There is a chair and table and various battle charts.  There is also a wanted poster featuring David.  General Joash enters and bows subserviently.

Joash: Your majesty,  the troops await your orders.  How do we confront the Philistines? Where will we take on the enemy?
Saul: (Sarcastically)  How do we confront the Philistines?  How about we scare them to death by making really scary faces at them.(He demonstrates)  The only challenge we will present to the Philistines will be the decision of how they will dispose of our bodies.
Joash: Certainly it's not as bad as that.
Saul: (Highly agitated) Not as bad as that?  Have you seen them?  There are more Philistines than blades of grass on that battle-field.  And they have you-know-who working for them.  (Looks at the poster of David.)
Joash: I see what you mean.  But we've been in worse spots.  I remember a time when the Philistines had us totally outnumbered.  There was no way out - our backs were to the wall.  The hand of the Lord delivered us that time.
Saul: (Desperately) When?  When?  What did we do?  How were we delivered?  What did we do?
Joash: (Remembering) Well, they had this champion - a giant - what was his name?
Saul: (Shouting) Goliath !  (Looks at poster of David with anger.)
Joash: Yes, Goliath.  And then we sent out . . .(Saul rushes to the poster and tears it down.)  Oh, that's right.  Well, I see that you are not feeling well.  I will send in a musician.  Perhaps someone to play the harp?
Saul: (Anguished) AAaagggghh!
Joash: (Backing out)  A servant.  I will send a servant to soothe your brow.  (Bows out)

(Saul moans and sits disconsolately in the chair.)

Servant: (Enters with a pitcher of water, a bowl and a cloth.)  Your majesty, General Joash told me your were not well so I brought cool water to soothe your brow.
Saul: (Clutching his head)  My head.
Servant: Another headache.  (Puts down bowl on the table and pours water into it, then dips in the cloth and gently strokes Saul's forehead and temples.)
Saul: Worse, far worse.  (Stands up and begins to pace.)  There is no way out .  We are all doomed. 
Servant: (Alarmed)  What?
Saul: The Philistines will kill every one of us. . . or worse.
Servant: But the Lord has always saved us before.  What does He say?
Saul: Nothing!  Absolutely nothing.  No dreams.  No visions.  Not even casting lots works and casting lots always works.  If only . . .(sits in the chair again).
Servant: (Anxiously) If only what?
Saul: If only Samuel were still alive.  He always knew God's will.  He would know what to do.
Servant: Could Samuel tell you what to do if you brought him back from the dead?
Saul: (Sarcastically) And just how would I go about bringing him back from the dead? Do you have a miracle elixir?
Servant: (Cautiously)  No, but I know a friend who knows someone who might be able to talk to the dead for awhile.
Saul: Talk to the dead?
Servant: Well, sort of conjure up the dead.
Saul: A medium?  Didn't I outlaw mediums?  Why is she still around?
Servant: I'm not sure but you should be glad because she can be the answer to your problem.
Saul: A witch?
Servant: (A little afraid) Yes, I don't know her myself but I've heard. . .
Saul: Never mind that!  Bring me to her.
Servant: Certainly, your majesty.

Scene 2

Saul follows the servant into a tent.  In the tent is a table and two chairs on either side of the table.  On the table is a crystal ball.  Saul is wearing a disguise.

Saul: Are you sure this is the place?
Servant: I'm certain.  I mean this is where my friend told me it would be.
Saul: Then where is the . . .uh. . .you-know. . .witch.
Servant: Maybe she's in the back, your majesty.
Saul: Don't call me that!  I am just a simple merchant who needs some help.  Nothing more!
Servant: (Catching the meaning) Sorry, sir.  I forgot you were in disguise.  I'll go in the back and see if I can find her. (Walks through back curtain.)

(Saul looks around the room while we hear offstage dialog.)

Servant: Matilda, wake up! Get off your lazy duff.  You've got a customer.
Witch: Who is it?
Servant: Never mind who it is.  He has important business.
Witch: Well, I've got to be careful since that putrid, slimy King Saul put the death penalty on mediums.  May he soon rot in his grave. (Saul reacts with anger to the criticism.) Go tell him I'll be there in a minute.

(Servant  comes back onstage through curtain.)

Servant: She'll be right out.  (Slinks over to entrance.)
Saul: (Through his teeth)  How nice.  I can't wait.
Witch: (From offstage in a spooky voice)  Whoever would speak to the world of spirits,  whoever would summon the dead to arise once more, whoever would hear the voice of those who have passed to the other side - I , Matilda, mistress of the dead, doorkeeper of the spirit world, will summon the one to whom you call.

(Matilda sweeps into the room wearing a gauzy, flowing outfit that she uses with great drama and flair.)

Saul: (With a bit of contempt) So, you're a witch.
Witch: A crude term.  I prefer the name spirit guide.
Saul: Spirit guide, witch, medium, whatever...Can you help me?
Witch: I have the powers to summon the spirits from the realm beyond, to bring the dead . . .
Saul: Okay, okay, we must be quick.  This is a matter of life and death.
Witch: You don't know how often I hear that.  But first we must discuss the matter of money.
Saul: I have your fee here (holds out bag, she reaches for it) but first you must show me the spirit.
Witch: Of course, of course. You must sit in that chair over there. (She gestures to the chair nearest the entrance.  He sits.) Now close your eyes, very tight. (She sits in the other chair and faces the crystal ball.)  I am summoning the spirit world.  Oh , world of spirits hear my cry, heed my call, listen earnestly to my voice.  If you can hear me, let me know.  I cry out to you to give us a sign.  Ring a bell so that we can hear that you are listening.  (She produces a small bell from under her robe and rings it.) The spirits can hear us.  They are willing to cooperate.  Now we can summon whomever it is with whom you wish to commune.
Saul: Samuel, I've got to talk to Samuel.
Witch: Saaaammmuelllll.   Saaammmmuellll.  Come to us.  Speak to us.  (To Saul)  Now remember a lot of times the spirits will use my      voice and my body to speak to you.  (To spirits)  Saaaammmuell, I think I hear you.

(Suddenly the crystal ball lights up and the witch is extremely surprised.)

(She looks into the crystal ball and screams.)  AAAaaaaaaaaaah.  It's Samuel.  The prophet. . . .the .. . .that means you must be (screams again) AaaAAAAAaaaah . .  .SAUL!   You lied to me.  You deceived me.  I knew this would happen someday!  I knew I should leave the witchcraft business.

Saul: Don't worry.  I'm not going to have you killed.  Now get back to that vision.  What did you see?  What's he look like?
Witch: (Looking in the crystal ball) An old man is coming up and he is wearing a robe.
Saul:

(Excited) That's him!  That's him!  What's he saying?                                    

(Samuel's voice is heard.)

Samuel: Why did you disturb me bringing me up here like this?
Saul: Samuel, I need your guidance.  The Philistines are waging war against me and God has left me and He won't answer me ; not through dreams or visions or prophets or anything - and I didn't know what to do so I called you.
Samuel: So why are you asking me?  Like, I didn't tell you that the Lord would depart.  I told you to wipe out the Amalekite, but did you? Nooooooooo!  You had to save the king and you had to keep back the sheep and cattle for a "sacrifice". The Lord has torn the kingdom from your hands and given it to David. 
Saul: (Cries out)  No!
Samuel: Yes!  And moreover, the Lord will give over Israel to the Philistines. 
Saul: (With great fear)  Will it be a terrible battle? 
Samuel: You haven't seen anything like it.  And you certainly won't see anything like it again.
Saul: (Trembling)  Whawha....what do you mean?
Samuel: I mean that tomorrow at this time you'll be sitting right next to  me . . . along with your sons.
Saul: That means we'll be. . .
Samuel: Dead as doornails, pushing up the daisies, doing the lawn limbo, deceased, kicked the bucket, adiosed.
Saul: Aaaaaauuuuuuuugggghhhhh.
Samuel: Well, I'll be seeing you soon.

(The light goes out in the crystal ball and Saul faints with a cry.)

Witch: Well it can't all be good news.  (Goes over to Saul and gently wakes him.)  You've been fair with me and I realize that you aren't as putrid as I thought.  Although, you will be by next week.  How about something to eat?
Saul: No, no.
Witch: Come on.  A little fatted calf, maybe a loaf of unleavened bread?
Saul: I've just been told I'm going to die tomorrow.  What's the use.
Witch: You don't want to die on an empty stomach.
Servant: Come sire, you haven't eaten all day.  You need something.
Saul: Okay, but don't go to any trouble.
Witch: Oh no trouble at all.  I might need a little help killing the fatted calf though.  So, could I borrow your servant?
Saul: Sure, sure go ahead.  (Sits in chair with head in hands.)

(Servant and Witch walk to curtain to back room and stop and look back at Saul)

Servant: (Looking back at Saul)  You know he used to be a great king.  I used to respect and look up to him.
Witch: So what happened?
Servant: You heard what Samuel said about the Amalekites?  It was after that battle that he started to slip.  They say that he stopped following the commands of God and started following his own heart.
Witch: What a loser! (They shake heads and walk through curtain leaving Saul alone onstage.)

THE END



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